"A person usually has two reasons for doing something; a good reason and the real reason."
The real reason I enrolled in the commercial photography program is to explore the possibilities of a career in commercial photography.
I was a strong, stretched and centered creative person before I enrolled in this program. Now, I am not sure what I am. Every bit of fun that could have been had, was drained out in the excruciating process of making pin hole cameras and rippin' & runnin' the hundred cross town trips to photo supply stores for RC and or Fiber Based Glossy paper & 400 ISO black and white film to pursue the greatest picture, has that taught me to feel inadequate and devalued - and to complain more in six weeks than I have in my entire 51 years on this planet.
The good reason for enrolling was to give myself the opportunity to do college full-time. To validate and confirm that very organized, I have the ability to follow instructions, comprehend and apply new concepts and techniques @ 51.
So... I'll just go out in the real world and teach myself photography..
My photo "art" submitted for the final project is not a reflection of any particular theme... but of me and the state of mind I'm in this term. Though it started out an opposite way. I apologize for wasting your time. I feel I need someone to apologize to me. $600 of cash spent on supplies and too many hours stolen from other important tasks to spend them in the lab and darkroom on my feet, coming home exhausted, unable and unwilling to enjoy nothing but my big comfy couch and drug induced sleep.
Having said all that! In the end, I love to discover and develop ideas. I often find my creative streak in my sleep or when I'm busy doing some things I don't particularly care to be doing. The style of teaching at this particular school at this particular time for me, makes for exhaustive unfulfillment, with no generation of new ideas - or time to take any that might creep up on you, to the next level. I've heard it over and over from others, as well.
Knowing what my gifts are and what they are not is key. I don't have a gift for pretending I'm something I'm not. I'm not that good at commercial photography learning - Quad C style. Where the joy for me, should have been in creating, not maintaining... a how many pictures can you shoot, Photoshop, dodge & burn --count - as a beginner!!
Anyone can teach you about love... but I can make you good at it!
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